A Life Changing Question for You

Will you let go of your fears in order to experience a beautiful life while you're here?

Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash

When I was a teenager, two of my friends and I decided to go swimming in a river not far from my home. It had been raining for days, and with the sunshine back and summer in full swing, we decided to get in the water.

The South Canadian River is a place we knew well. We had partied there hundreds of times in the summer, climbing to the top of the old bridge at night while being drunk, or noodling for catfish along the banks during the day. It was a place to escape and get high with friends, but it was also very dangerous for many reasons. Only we were young and believed the rules didn’t apply to us.

It almost cost us our lives.

Despite the quicksand and the fast-moving river, and the adults standing there telling us we shouldn’t attempt to swim, we ignored all the warnings. Within minutes, the calmer waters turned into an unstoppable force, dragging us to the deeper water under the bridge. We were good swimmers, but nothing could have prepared us for the moment we were violently taken under and forced against the loads of debris trapped around the bases of the bridge support columns.

It felt like being hit by a truck while being stabbed by dozens of sharp branches. I was trapped, almost out of breath, and it was then that I realized I was going to die. The only thing that saved me was remembering to stay calm.

So I felt my way around in the murky and strong currents, navigating a relentless patchwork of trees and garbage, while pulling myself upwards towards the top, and finally, before I lost the last bit of air in my body, I surfaced.

As I climbed to the top of the pile of debris smashed against the huge concrete base, I noticed that both my friends were stuck on other bridge columns. We were spent and scared as hell, but we were alive.

But the battle was far from over; we still had to make it back to shore.

After waiting what seemed like an eternity to regain our strength and composure, we figured out our best shot at survival was to pick a landing spot downriver and jump out into the raging water at a 45-degree angle while holding onto driftwood like a life preserver, hoping the current would carry us to our destination back on land. The three of us summoned the courage and leaped out in faith.

We cheated death and lived to talk about it.

…

When I think about how many times I’ve needlessly put myself in danger, it’s amazing I’m still alive, and as stupid as those decisions were - many I’d never choose to make again - those moments have also led me in overcoming some of the greatest challenges of my life. They’ve also left me with some very memorable stories!

Isn’t that the point of adventure, though? To experience those moments where we embrace the unknown, setting aside our fears to try something many people think is stupid, and hoping we don’t die in the process.

It seems foolish now to put ourselves in harm’s way to achieve something we’ve set our minds to, but then what would life be like without ever taking any risks?

Jeanne Baret. Ernest Shackleton. Amelia Earhart. Jacques Cousteau. Jenny Tough. Felix Baumgartner. Gerline Kaltenbrunner. Alex Honnold.

These are just a handful of courageous people, past and present, who set aside their fears to attempt the impossible for the sake of adventure and who have cemented their legacies in history. I admire them all for their daring feats, and I’d argue that without their accomplishments, we’d never believe the impossible is possible.

Still. I don’t have the guts to attempt the kinds of things they did.

I have no desire to push myself in that way anymore because I love life too much to take that kind of risk and I’m OK with that. However, I can still take other kinds of risks that make for great adventures and stories.

You can too!

…

As we age, we tend to make smarter decisions based on our life experiences, and more often than not, we’ll go out of our way to reduce our risk, which is understandable given how much we’ve learned since our youth. Yet I also believe doing so robs us of the adventures our hearts continue to seek and the stories we could be telling today. It often feels tragic that our “best days” are behind us.

Here’s my case in point.

In my conversations with older people from all walks of life, I rarely hear exciting tales of modern adventure. There’s no discussion about them doing something dangerous yesterday, unless it was forgetting to take a medication, nor is there any mention of them doing something exciting on the road less traveled. I can see no spark within their eyes as they strive to remain comfortable.

Then, when I ask them about their past, these same people will spend hours telling me about the harrowing adventure stories of their youth with such passion and energy that it’s intoxicating. The spark is reignited as they remember those days when they faced crazy challenges or came close to dying. They felt alive again.

It’s both funny and sad. Interesting really.

We spend our earliest days doing stupid things that are scary, yet exciting to the soul, but as we get older, we stop taking any risks, while our souls cry for more adventure.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

…

In The Dark Side of Van Life, I shared a bit of the drama we’ve experienced lately in our little world of travel. It really resonated with readers, which surprised me, and it was amazing to receive all the comments and advice! Interestingly, the responses that really stood out were from people who didn’t think it was worth the adventure.

I totally get it.

The thought of traveling in a wind-blown box all day, every day, with your significant other can seem a bit self-abusive, especially with the added stress of driving into a city under government siege or wondering if all the crazy ass drivers in Florida are going to kill you before the humidity does. It sounds risky, right? Of course, our challenges are nothing compared to the real dangers the adventurers mentioned above faced, but hey, we could still die.

However, how would we know if van life is worth it without ever trying it?

The same could be said for when we started our full-time travel adventure in 2020, when, despite all the warnings and dangers around us, we decided to go for it. People shook their heads, said we were stupid or irresponsible for going out in a pandemic, and feared it could potentially kill us or others.

In both instances, the risks were absolutely worth it.

Our road life adventure has been far from perfect, but we’ve faced some of the greatest challenges of our lives while making new, exciting memories almost every day, and rather than sitting around thinking about the past, we’re focused on the future. We’re still creating sparks. That’s a huge difference!

Now let’s talk about you.

I believe some of you are constantly dreaming about adventure and your soul is crying out to experience it, but you’ve convinced yourself that it’s not worth the risk and that it’s better to be safe than sorry. You’re letting fear control every decision about moving forward with your own story.

Here’s the irony in it all.

You can do everything possible to avoid the shitty consequences in life and still end up in a shitty situation. All the planning, preparation, and precautions won't guarantee you’ll be safe, and it certainly won’t keep you from dying eventually. So why not take those risks and enjoy this life to the fullest?

Here’s one thing you should also know.

Adventure doesn’t require you to be dangerous.

We often romanticize the idea that real adventure involves summiting the tallest mountains, jumping out of perfectly good airplanes, hiking the entire Appalachian Trail, or rafting down a raging river, and though they are inspiring feats, you don’t have to put your life in harm’s way to make it count.

Adventure is what you make of it. The important thing to remember is to challenge yourself by doing something uncomfortable or difficult, or by achieving a goal you didn’t think was possible. That’s what matters and makes for a good story.

Now for the big question.

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done it because you’re scared of what could happen?

Maybe it’s finally time for you to take some risks before it’s too late.

With so many problems in our country right now that could prevent us from pursuing our dreams in the future, and with life getting shorter every day, it could be a great time to let go of the fears holding you back so you can experience the joy your soul longs for. And rather than thinking about all the bad things that could happen, start focusing on the good things that are likely to happen.

Going for it could will change your life. You owe it to yourself to try.

For me, living out the rest of my days just trying to be comfortable in the safe zone sounds boring, and I’d rather die pushing the limits of what I think is possible, rather than allow fear to keep me from experiencing more adventures. I want more incredible stories to tell. I hope you do, too.

Remember, the best days are not behind us if we don’t want them to be.